Part of living one’s life for God involves personal discipline. Leaving one’s old life, old ways of speech, old past times behind and embracing those activities and speech that are honoring to all and pleasing to God. This growth in righteousness isn’t done in a vacuum, however. Many of the members of the church were husbands, fathers and sons; some were wives, mothers and daughters. Still others were servants or masters. In short, we grow up in faith while in relationship with others. How does one impact the other?

Remember the makup of the church at that time. No one as of yet had grown up in a Christian home. Every member of that church was a new believer and it is likely that the majority of households were mixed. Some would call it “unequally yolked”. They were all Gentiles before, following the path Satan had forged for them. They started out being equal, compatible in culture and place in life. Now these families are thrown into turmoil, so Paul addresses how to please God in these relationships. Obviously a few of these households all came to Christ, but these would be in the minoroty.

Paul starts with addressing wives, and giving them advice few in the church today are comfortable with. Our culture insists the teachings of Scripture regarding marriage are antiquated at best, possibly bound to culture and not meant to be taken as commands of God, or at worst just plain wrong. Few stand up for these teachings, and either do so appologetically or with a relish that exposes personality flaws. Those who believe all of God’s word is relevant and purposeful are branded sexist and chuavanist. This is a difficult conversation to have.

“Wives submit to your husbands” Paul begins. The word used to submit here is a military term and there is little argument to be made for an alternative reading. Paul clarifies his point so there can be no mistake, comparing the wife’s relationship to her husband as the church’s is to Jesus. How far does this extend? Paul writes, “submit to [your] husband in everything.” He ends the discussion with the statement “the wife must respect her husband.” If you are waiting for a “but” or a “however” there is none. The teaching is clear.

What are the implications of such a teaching? It depends on the houshold. If the husband is also a believer he will follow Paul’s injunctions for Christian husbands, which are far more detailed than those for wives. In such a compatible relationship both husband and wife will shine. It’s much more difficult should the husband be an unbeliever. Paul mentions elsewhere that the wife’s actions and attitude, being the same as Jesus’, may lead to the salvation of the husband. Such outcomes should be sought, but may not always work out. Either way love is communicated clearly through the words “as you wish”.

I mentioned that Paul’s instructions to men is more detailed, they are also equally difficult. Husbands are to love their wives the same way Jesus loves the church. In other words, they are to have a perfect love toward their spouse, to the point of doing without if such actions will help her to become glorious, holy and blameless. They should not ask of her anything that they themselves would not endure, for her flesh is the same as his. Logic should not rule his relationship to her, love should.

Again, the household’s situation can help or complicate matters. If the wife is also a believer this situation helps both grow closer to eachother and to God. If not, the husband's duty to his unbelieving wife is made that much more difficult. In modern terms, what this comes down to is learning to speak each other's love language. What woman wouldn’t want her husband to love her with a perfect love? What husband wouldn’t want his wife’s respect and enablement to lead?

The teaching for children is short and to the point: honor your parents. This isn’t only in their presense, but moves into the realm of decissions made with friends. A child should make decissions that honor their parents in all their decissions. Being sneaky or disobedient when outside the house brings shame and not honor to one’s parents. But parents are not to be unreasonable either, for doing so provokes the child to sin.

Our final section for today is regarding what is commonly labeled “slaves and masters”. It is easy to confuse the ancient world’s practice to the form of slavery practiced later in history, most notably in early America where racism lead to the devaluing of human life. The two systems however are strikingly different. In the ancient world a slave was more an indentured servant. They owed a debt to another that they could not pay. An arangement was made so that the slave would work off the debt. The servitude was not based on race or color, but rather on debt. The arangement was rarely lifelong (depending on the size of the debt) and the person could return to their way of life when the debt was paid. Sometimes a person would enter servanthood as a means of learning a trade, think of it as an unpaid apprenticeship. In such a system people learned personal responsibility. Paul teaches the slave to serve the master as he would Jesus, and masters to not treat their slaves unjustly or unfairly.