As a Saved Spouse.
Men and women, though created equal, were also created different and contrary to popular belief women do not receive the short end of the stick in the Bible. There are some who believe that chauvinism was championed on one end of Christian history by the apostle Paul, and on the other by Bill Gothard. In all truth, however, the Bible doesn’t demonstrate such thinking.

In the beginning, before the fall, God created man and woman, and they were equal. Both lived under the same rules that were handed down by God. God spoke the rules to Adam, who was trusted to faithfully communicate those rules to Eve. This is not a chain of command, but rather a path of communication. When Satan came to deceive mankind, he did as he always does and reverses God’s order. He spoke to the woman, who then carried the message of error to man. All three beings, Satan, Eve and Adam, sinned. For this reason Adam and Eve – and all mankind with them – were cursed. This natural created order for communication is to be implemented in Christian marriages. Did Adam lord himself over Eve in the garden? Absolutely not, because he had nothing to lord over her. Both were bound by the commands of someone higher than themselves. Adam and Eve loved each other and carried on a relationship with each other while both of them obeyed their God. There is no mastery mentioned.

As a Christian couple, the goal is to attain the same level of commitment to God and to each other. Though we will never be able to fulfill it completely in this life, it is worth the struggle. Each one’s opinion is as important as the others, yet this model only works in Christian homes where both people are committed to Jesus. Peter tells us that if a Christian woman finds herself married to an unbeliever, she should not leave him, but rather submit to him so that he might be won over to Christ. Sound like a long shot? Maybe. But it is what Christ did. He lowered Himself, submitted Himself to our rules, and suffered greatly under those rules, in order that some might be saved. In this situation, the woman submits to her husband so that one day maybe they can share a truly godly marriage. Amazing!

As for men, the same rules apply. Examine verse seven and carefully note the words, “in the same way…” A Christian man is to honor the Lord by considering his wife’s needs and desires, respecting her as the person God made her, and as a joint-heir of the blessing of life. If this is not done, God turns a deaf ear to the man. In other words, that natural order of God’s communication to man and man’s faithful transmission of truth to his spouse will be broken by God! God will not communicate with a man who does not treat his wife with proper respect.

The bottom line in all these relationships – citizen to king, slave to master, and husband to wife – is holiness. If holiness characterizes our every act, we will unquestionably keep these relationships pure. Through holiness we honor the king, the master and the spouse; through holiness we honor the King, the Master, and the Husband of the church.