If singleness is to be preferred, what about marriage? For hundreds of years marriage and family life have been crowned the norm for Christian life and this teaching turns that on its head. Though Paul clearly teaches that singleness has benefits to the kingdom above marriage, he carefully points out that marriage is not a sin (.2, .36, .38) and that in point of fact, in a sexually immoral culture marriage may be the best way a man or woman can please God (.2, .9, .36). As such, he gives many guidelines to married couples to make their marriage better:

• Fulfill marital duties toward each other (.3)
• Recognize that your body is not you own (.4)
• Do not deprive each other a sexual relationship (.5)
• Do not seek a divorce (.10, .27, .39)
• Marry a Christian (.39)

Though there are many duties each partner performs in a marriage, the clear emphasis of this passage is the duty of sexual integrity. Affairs and one night stands are out of the question. Further, using sex as either punishment or a reward is inappropriate. This is because in marriage one’s body is not his own, but belongs to his spouse, even as hers belongs to him. Our bodies are not to be done with as we please, but as our partner pleases. Couples should not deprive each other of the sexual relationship. The only concession Paul is willing to allow is for the purpose of prayer, yet even then he says to come together. The only separation between man and wife is to seek God in a troubling matter. Once prayer is over, the husband and wife must reunite, so that they will not be tempted (by Satan, no less) to leave each other. In our society, where illicit sex is easily obtained, one can see the relevance of this command. For this reason, it is safe to say that modern day “separation,” whereby man and wife live apart to work through their problems, is sinful behavior. How can they possibly work out their problems when they no longer live together, talk to each other, or enjoy the good things about the other? To separate gives Satan the opportunity to overwhelm the couple with their problems and push them toward divorce.

Married couples obviously have divided interests. Though they desire to serve God, they must also serve each other. A man must devote his time to pleasing his wife, even as she must devote herself to pleasing her husband. In between these mutual times of pleasing each other, they can consider how to please God. This is a bleak picture, especially considering that God is the one who created marriage, and who created woman for man in the first place. In fact, marriage was necessary to fulfill God’s command to Adam to “be fruitful and multiply; fill the Earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1.28). Paul’s reason for ignoring this truth is that the world’s pre-judgment history is coming to a close. Being past the half-way point, we ought to devote ourselves completely to the task of reaching the world for Christ (Matthew 28.19-.20).

Paul gives an illustration about the appropriateness of marriage in .36-.38. If a man’s conscience troubles him about his relationship to a virgin (this implies the trouble is not caused by sexual immorality), he may marry her and be doing the right thing. Conversely, however, the man whose conscience does not trouble him and who decides he does not need to marry the woman not only does a right thing – but does a better thing than he who marries. This is a difficult teaching considering the pressure our Christian culture places on young people to marry.

One more word about sex and marriage, and this is not in the text. A friend of mine asked the other day why God commands sex to only be a part of a married relationship. “Why should people have to get married to have sex?” he asked. His perspective is common, but backwards. In this view marriage is about sex. This seems to be true since sex is supposed to only be part of a marital relationship, but in fact it is sex that is about marriage. Marriage is about many things – raising children, managing money and free time, retaining friendships, worshiping together, learning to live together, and more – and sex is only a part of this larger picture. So to one who thinks biblically it is clear that sex is the subordinate principal, not marriage. One is not to separate sex from marriage, but one may talk about marriage and never mention the sexual relationship. Like singleness being a lesser existence, this common misperception is one that needs to be corrected in our culture.